Explaining my Fear

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It feels weird to make a blogpost right now.

After not being able to calm down and fall asleep, and a 12 hour sleep I am now wide awake but feel a bit like a zombie.

Who knows maybe that’s not that bad.

I shiver a bit for I am afraid of writing even though this is just a blogpost and I can’t really do anything wrong here, it is like I am totally locked up in my own shell (with writing as well as emotionally)

And as I stated before even when I want to write and feel a spark of Inspiration I don’t write because I am too afraid of not being good enough, well that is of course due to my not existing selfconfidence, and also a bit because of so many Indie Authors with all their ideas….It is a bit overwhelming and because I do have the pleasure to be FB-Friends with some of them and even read a few books of them so far, I feel kinda outdone.

I mean I can never be as good as them….

I honestly think my “Books” will never be liked or even read.

Well I am writing because I love it since ever and I always said even if my books will never be read or even published I will continue writing because it is my passion just as Music and Movies are.

I do admit though that it would be one of my biggest wishes, dreams, goals to be liked, respected and wanted as author, even as poetess.

Yeah I still have some dreams, even though now after all that happened lately in my private life I lost all hope.

But those dreams I guess will always be a part of me even though I know I will not even achieve one of them.

Anyway, I guess that post is long enough, just tried to explain what’s up with me and why I continue to postpone my publishing date.

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